It’s funny how much I hear about speed dating today. It like we are in the 90s again. In the 2000s that kind of event almost disappeared. Last Sunday, my friends and I were in a Vietnamese restaurant. Arnaud, a very friendly French guy, asked me:
“Hey, have you already tried speed dating?”
Hum… It was the first time a man talk to me about it. It really means that this technique has made a powerful comeback. And you know what? There is certainly a reason for that.
Does it work?
“We’re all sensitive people, with so much to give” Let’s get it on- Marvin Gaye
10% of Americans have used speed dating or blind dates at least once in their life. The good news is that, among them, 23% have found a spouse or a long term partner. There’s no doubt: this technique works. Almost all the ladies around me have used it in the last 5 years. But I have heard some sad stories too; some of them were told with trembling voice and with tears; and, finally, I have heard some comments that are real nugget wisdom concerning this experience.
“What were they talking about, Jo?”
Lady, they were talking about how to survive in your journey using speed dating. So here, I have condensed their ideas. Look here. I put them put them in a back pack just for you. Yes this backpack doesn’t look that sexy. But don’t be shy to bring it with you. It will serve you well, I promise. Here is what in your speed dating survival kit.
Tool #1 your food and water.
Your food and water is what will keep you alive in a rough moment. As you meet men in speed dating events, you will need to remember why you are here. Sometimes, you will talk to men who are really sweet but look like extinct volcanos.
“Damn! There’s no passion, no hope in that body”.
Some men will be OK. Some will be total jerks (and they will problably always be). Some guys will look just great.
You will need to remember your goal. What you want is to find the right man for you. So, at first, you are looking for some candidates who could be that next boyfriend. In other word, if you focus on how many perfect matches you get, or on how many horrible dates you have experienced, you will get burned. I don’t want that to happen to you. So keep in mind why you are here in the first place. Just repeat it in your mind when things get hard.
Tool #2 your flashlight
“Oh, I can’t find the beat… Flashlight!” Flashlight- Parliament.
Now that you know that you will have to repeat many times that you are looking for the right man, ask yourself what right means for you. Sure you can put out the long list of qualities your ideal man should have (By the way, read the article Find A Perfect Boyfriend Online to know why this list may be a nuisance for you). But, here, I just invite you to think only about one or two characteristics that are very special for you. No women in this world want to be with a lazy man or a jerk. What is important for you? For instance, my sister can’t be with a man who has no interest in Arts at all. She has so many dreams. I can’t see her with a man who thinks only about his jobs and the stuff he will buy with his money. It doesn’t matter how rich he is: she will be miserable. She knows it; she pays attention to that detail.
Now, how about you?
Use your flashlight to see what going on inside your head and around you.
Tool #3 medications
“Bad medicine is what I need” Bad medicine- Bon Jovi
Usually, when you read an article about how to behave in a speed dating event, the author will say that you will have to be sweet and gentle with the men you talk to. This is true. Nobody wants to be with a rude person. But how about you? How will you talk to yourself? What kind emotion will you cultivate in your heart? A lot of ladies are already so mad at themselves and the whole world even before they get in the room. Sure, it’s not funny to keep looking and looking for love (to help you in those moments, remember what I said about time in the article: 3 Reasons Why You Should Not Stop Looking For A Boyfriend- #3 is important).
The best medication when you feel sick and tired of looking for a man is to laugh about some situations that you have experienced. Laughing is one of the best medication human have created (well I’ve heard that some animals laugh too; you tell me).
So here is Susan is telling me about a guy she has met in a speed dating even. Seems that the first question he asked to a lady was this one:
“Have you ever been betrayed by a loved one”.
Man, I almost swallow my bubble gum.
“Wow! That dude really knows how to talk to women. Way to go tough guy”, I say.
Susan is laughing. I have the feeling that she laughs about us, men, in general…
Well, anyway, the point is this one: If you don’t laugh about those things, they will slowly crush you… You can’t let that happen to you.
Psst… Don’t forget your bag, darlin’.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: remember the three keywords for a slayer: Preparation… Preparation… Preparation.
Buffy: that’s one word three times.
Bad girl episode- Buffy the vampire
Sure, you can’t be over prepared. But yes, once in the while, you will forget to take your tools with you when you go to an event. Just know that it will happen sometimes. You know, when don’t feel that positive. You get in the room almost walking backwards. What is wonderful is that your survival kit can be used anytime. So even if you had a very bad evening, you always can use those tools the day after to feel better.
Now go! And find your amazing man.