Photo by Racool_studio – freepik
For those who are embarking on a sexy, new relationship and eager to make a good first impression, here’s what men tell me your new lover’s hoping for.
He wants you to…
1. Give great oral sex
it’s not only one of his favourite things, it shows you’re as interested in giving as you are receiving pleasure.
2. Be active
I’m not suggesting you bounce around the bed like a four-year-old who’s just consumed their body weight in sweets, but please don’t leave it up to him to make all the moves.
3. Not stress about your body
Hiding under the covers, insisting the lights are turned out – you know the drill. Even if your thighs do look like orange peel (and do they really?) you’re having sex with the man! Unless it’s a one-night-stand, at some point he’s going to have to see you naked. Get it over and done with: let him see everything first time around and you’ll both feel better.
Keep it simple: Wanting to impress is one thing but trying to squeeze in half the Kama Sutra in does quite the opposite
4. Not stress about his performance
First time sex can be intense and erotic but it’s also highly charged with expectations. Both of you are nervous and eager for it to go well but a female’s nerves are more easily hidden. (Seriously, who’d want a penis when it’s such an obvious barometer of anxiety?)
Two things are on the cards if he’s nervous of performing: a lack of erection or premature ejaculation. How you react to either predicts how good sex will be for the two of you in the future.
Treat it light-heartedly, don’t make a big deal and let him know it’s normal and you understand, and you’re set for open, honest, communicative sex. Over-react, take it personally or make him feel bad about it and he’ll be even more apprehensive next time around with disastrous results.
5. Let him know you’re enjoying it
Listen, he’s watched the odd episode of SATC and (if you’re really lucky) Girls and maybe even picked up the odd sex book or two. He knows women fake it and it’s not that easy to get everything right.
Sex should be about trying to feel good not look good.
Don’t patronise him by pretending you like everything he does (unless of course you do!) but do let him know when he’s doing something particularly well. A moan or ‘ummmm’ will do.
6. Save the post-sex emotional fallout for your friends
If he really doesn’t want to know you now he’s had his wicked way, you trying to find out if you’re an item will be even more humiliating. If he really likes you, he (or you) will be in contact within a day or so to organise your next date.
The more relaxed you are about the whole thing, the more smitten he’ll be. Be affectionate and shoot a few meaningful looks so he knows it meant something (if indeed it did), but resist hanging onto his legs as he makes for the front door.