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I bet the majority of people in relationships who are reading this just raised their eyebrows with looks of disapproval.
The first thought that probably popped into their minds was, “But, I’m in a relationship — I shouldn’t flirt.”
Relationships, however, never come with a signed contract that states we must be stripped of all of our sexual traits. As human beings, our sexuality exists whether we’re single or in a relationship.
Settling down doesn’t mean we must convince ourselves a certain person isn’t attractive.
When you’re in a relationship, you have an intense connection with your partner that no one else can infiltrate. But, it is quite possible (and absolutely normal) you will feel a minor connection with someone else down the road.
When I say, “flirting” with others, I don’t mean picking up a bunch of people and getting their phone numbers.
There is quite a fine line between “flirting” and “cheating.” Even flirting has its obvious boundaries; one shouldn’t be exchanging phone numbers and going out with someone else.
Whether you and your partner decide to start flirting with others or you choose to flirt with other people without discussing it, flirting is pivotal. Here’s why:
The idea of being in a relationship is often associated with the notion of being “trapped.” As soon as the initial euphoric stage in a relationship ends, partners start to feel trapped.
Having feelings for someone else is viewed as mental or emotional cheating, and we tend to restrict ourselves from being interested in other people.
Well, why should we restrict ourselves in the first place? The more you try to control your most basic needs, the more you will see yourself as trapped in your relationship.
If you feel an attraction toward someone else, just go ahead and talk to him or her.
Once you approach and talk to that “someone else,” you will notice that once the conversation is over, your attraction will slightly fade.
We’ve all heard the saying, “You want what you can’t have.” The major reason we like others while we’re in relationships is because we subconsciously believe we can’t talk, flirt or hang out with someone we’re attracted to.
Therefore, the thought of cheating keeps growing and we start looking for exits in order to break free.
The solution to silencing those thoughts is to flirt, flirt, flirt. Once you do, you will realize the idea of being “trapped” was just all in your head.
Two separate individuals
Being separate individuals means we are all free. You and your partner cannot act as one unit in all parts of life. You are free to flirt with, talk to and like other people.
Not crossing the line of flirting into cheating has to do with respect and your freedom won’t extend that far if you respect your partner enough.
By being one unit 24/7, your partner cannot and will not be able to continue giving you the attention and confidence boosts you need. But, others certainly can!
When you flirt with other people, you’ll get an enormous boost of self-confidence from knowing you’re still desirable and not “trapped” with your partner.
Independence is a major key to relationship success. If you can’t hold on to your independence in a relationship, don’t settle down in any kind of commitment.
It’s a test
Sometimes, flirting with other people will make you appreciate your current partner more.
Some people already know their partner’s worth, but the majority of people forget why they were involved in their relationship in the first place.
Flirting with other people can act as an indirect test to see if you’re committed to your partner or not.
If you are, you undoubtedly won’t be tempted to move from the flirting stage to the cheating stage.
Furthermore, you will realize the truth about flirting with other people: It’s only a temporary distraction.
Flirting is fun
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you must stop having fun.
Remember how enjoyable and exciting it was when you first met your partner? The gazing, the teasing, the games, etc?
Those honeymoon stage feelings don’t last with long-term partners; they soon fade away to start along another kind of route.
Why not act on those feelings with someone new for a few moments? You don’t forget your partner is the one you come back home to.
Flirting with other people while in a relationship is a personal decision. If you don’t feel the need to flirt, that means you’re completely content and settled. But, if you’re up for some fun and you start feeling trapped in your relationship, go flirt!
Draw boundaries and continue loving your partner.