Photo byDollar Gill / Unsplash
1. “Does She Always Talk This Much?”
It can’t be repeated enough: Guys have a low threshold for mindless chatter. If you’re rambling on about your friends, coworkers, or anything you read on a gossip site, he’s gonna feign interest, then fake an emergency doctor’s appointment. Stick to asking him about bigger-picture topics, such as music and movies he digs, or what his friends are like.
2. “Can I Afford Her?”
Think twice before ordering a Petron margarita. When you start with a pricey cocktail or appetizer, dudes hear that ching-ching cash register sound in their heads—they think you’re going to be too effing expensive to take out all the time. Unless he orders a fancy drink or dish first, stick with standard fare, and save the $$ orders for when he’s already smitten.
3. “Is She Gonna Tweet About This?”
After a first date, guys worry that you’ll go all Carrie Bradshaw on them—you’ll critique their every word and move on Facebook, on your blog, or on the phone with your girlfriends. To assure him you’re not simply gathering material for your next man-bashing girls’ brunch, do not hate on their kind (“what is it with you men?”), do not pause mid-date to update your FB status (it will just make him think you’re posting something about him), and, for the love of God, do not mention that you aspire to be a dating blogger one day.
4. “Can I Bring Her Home to Mom?”
When guys first meet you, they picture you naked—you know this. But here’s the kinda cute part: If they get a good vibe from you from the get-go, they’re also picturing what their mom will think of you. To get Mother Approval right away, hold off on the F-bombs and plunging tops until the third or fourth date, when he already knows you’re capable of at least pretending you’re a perfect angel.
5. “Can She Hang With My Buddies?”
Men want to date women who can chill with the guys. If you’re critical of the food, mean to the waitress, or uptight in any way, he’ll conclude that you might be a drag around his boys. Not only is it a turnoff, he’ll get crap from them about it, and he doesn’t want that. Be sure to show off your easygoing attitude so he’ll know his pals will totally dig your presence.
6. “Can I Make a Move Tonight?”
Sex. Sex. Sex. Yeah, it’s running through his mind even as he’s asking where you grew up and the name of your favorite childhood pet. And while most men won’t try to sleep with you on the first date—they know enough to play the respectful guy card—they are still looking for affirmation that you also feel some chemistry and won’t hold off on hooking up soon. So if you’re feeling it, give him a subtle signal—like an upper-arm or wrist touch or a flirty smile. That way he knows you’re on the same page…and you’re guaranteed a date number two.
Steve Nakarmoto, dating expert and author of Men Are Like Fish: What Every Woman Needs to Know About Catching a Man and Dating Rocks! The 21 Smartest Moves Women Make for Love; Diana Kirschner, PhD, author of The Love Mentor’s Guide to Lasting Love; Ann Demarais, PhD, author of First Impressions: What You Don’t Know About How Others See You
Annie Daly Annie Daly is an NYC-based freelance travel and wellness journalist, and the author of the forthcoming book Destination Wellness, about various healthy living philosophies from around the world.